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Sitting In The Aisle: Hobbs And Shaw



Hobbs And Shaw 7/10

Full of spoilers. This was for sure an action movie. I watched Hobbs And Shaw even though I said I wouldn't. Not that I hate the Furious movies because I have seen all of them (except Tokyo Drift because fuck that nonsense). There was so much cast drama about this being made which made me laugh because the loudest ones were the ones that could be easily replaced and I wouldn't even care. Tyrese was barking like a baby dog and I joked that Kevin Hart could replace him and be better. Guess what? Hart is in this fucking movie. I had no idea. And they use just the right amount of him which made it even better. In this movie Shaw has a sister named Hattie that is an M16 agent. She and her team are there to stop a super virus called Snowflake. Everything is going fine until this dude named Brixton Lore shows up and starts punching holes in steel. This bastard is too strong so she injects herself with the virus because...science? She gets away and M16 thinks she turned on her team and took the virus. Like immediately. They believe she turned in a second. Shaw then visits his hot ass mother I prison. This is all in the first twelve minutes of the movie!


Meanwhile Hobbs is crashing into a tattoo parlor and beating a roomful of dudes asses looking for information. Elsewhere Shaw is doing the same. Hobbs is having breakfast with his daughter and fucking Ryan Reynoldsshows up for a funny ass cameo. That is a movie I wanna see. The thing is with these Furious movies before they got insane all I cared about was what Vin Diesel was doing. Everyone else was just filler. When The Rock arrived people got way more interesting. Hobbs is needed to catch this virus carrying lady and Shaw is assigned to it as well. Of course they don't wanna work together and madness ensues.


Hobbs finds Hattie first and they fight and it is full of sexual tension. He captures her and Shaw arrives to take her away because it is his sister. They have no spoken in forever and she thought he had turned bad. It was all a misunderstanding. They find out that the virus, if not stopped, will spread from her and kill millions. Right now it is in capsules in her little lady hands. They get into a fight with Brixton who whips their asses easily. See, he has all kinda crazy ass implants and he has the ability to predict your movements and have the reflexes of a cat on meth. After a while these fools realize they need to start working together and with no place to turn they head to Samoa to enlist the help of Hobbs' family that he has not seen since he turned his father in to cops.


They get to Samoa and Hobbs' brother is like “Fuck you!” and he is like “I know but the world will die” and his brother is like “I still don't care!” and his mother is like “I'm gonna beat you all with my slipper!” and the brother helps. A car mechanic manages to fix this broken device that is going to extract the virus from Hattie. Yeah. I said it. Hell, they wrote it. So Brixton shows up and after having their weapons disabled the Samoans whip all their asses. That is one thing the world knows about Samoans: they tough as fuck. Brixton gets hands on Hattie somehow and a helicopter pursuit happens with a bunch of cars trying to hold it down with a chain that Hobbs' manages to do with his bare hands! They crash the helicopter, fist fight, and Brixton is shut down by his owners and Disney dies. This movie was fucking insane and I have no idea what the next Furious movie will do to top this. Steal some DVD players?

Dwayne Johnson as Luke Hobbs
Jason Statham as Deckard Shaw
Idris Elba as Brixton Lore
Vanessa Kirby as Hattie Shaw
Cliff Curtis as Jonah Hobbs
Helen Mirren as Magdalene “Queenie” Shaw

Click here for previous Sitting In The Aisle.

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